We had a difficult time not making this item as Item #1. Conceivably, this should be the first thing that you do after you get laid off. In the end, we made this #2 because we wanted to stress the importance of filing your unemployment claim immediately. We know that it is doubtful that you will go straight to the unemployment office after your exit interview - even though some workers do exactly that.
When you are unfortunate enough to get laid off, there is no resource that is of greater value to you than the support of your family and your friends. Despite your best efforts, this is, inevitably, going to be a difficult time for you (and your family). So, it is imperative that you and your family work on this situation as a team. They can really help you to stop blaming yourself for this situation. We want to again emphasize this: You are not to blame for being laid off! Our economy has taken an historic downturn, and that situation has forced many companies to make difficult decisions. You have simply been caught up in this mess. Do not allow yourself to fall into the trap of blaming yourself, and, as a result, destroying your self-confidence. This is very important.
It is, however, normal to go through many emotional stages during the first few days after a layoff. Anger, disappointment, humiliation, shame, disgust and fear, just to mention a few. Although normal, these emotions can be highly destructive. You must constantly work on tempering these destructive emotions. Your family and friends can (and hopefully will) be very instrumental in keeping you on an emotionally even keel. Ask your family to read this page too. They have a responsibility to help you through this difficulty, so this page could help them to understand the real importance of their comfort and support.
Please understand that this first family/friend discussion is not meant to address every solution for the challenges that most of you will be facing over the next few weeks or months. This discussion is only meant to get the situation out onto the table in order to let those closest to you to understand what is going on in your life - and how it may affect theirs. We'll get to the details during the next few items, and those details will again necessitate more discussions with your family and friends. For now, though, just focus on the overall situation.
The most difficult part of this task is going to be your discussion with your children, if you have any. You will need to take into account their age, temperament, awareness, etc. So, you should handle this just as you would any other extremely important situation. It would be nice if there were a manual for this, but every parent's situation is very unique. You don't want to alarm them, but you don't want to overly downplay the seriousness of this either. The best advice probably is to start with the basic details first, while assuring them that everybody is going to be OK. Then watch their reactions carefully, and add more details slowly - based on those observed reactions. If you stay emotionally upbeat during your discussions, they will pick up on that, and things will go more smoothly. You are not lying to them - you and your family will come out of this OK as long as you are all willing to make the necessary adjustments to your lifestyle. Remember - this is going to take a team effort, and they are very important members of your team. Be sure that they realize that.
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
